Santiago Canyon

Distance = 48.57
Max speed = 32.5 mph
Time = 3.32.19

This ride occurred the day after the worst day of my entire life! I had met Gail in Los Osos, CA for a day while she was visiting a friend in San Francisco she had met online. She had, up to that point, been courting me like you wouldn't believe. She had been telling me she loved me and wanted another chance to prove to me she could be a good partner. When she saw me, something else happened completely... actually, I'm quite sure something happened while she's been staying with the SF woman, which then affected how she acted toward me. ANYWAY.... suffice to say. WORST day of my life! I drove home in the rain for about 4 hours. It was around 11pm or so when I got there. Then I had to get ready for this ride. And then I couldn't sleep. So when I got up at the buttcrack of dawn this morning, I was not happy. But I was determined to ride. I was feeling a little competitive I guess. There was a woman there named Elaine that didn't look to be in the same shape I was in. But she was cruising. So I did everything I could to hang with her. She actually gave me tips on how to shift gears before stopping. I suppose that was a nice thing to do. Just because it's my first AIDS Ride doesn't mean it's the first time I've ever ridden a bike! lol Anyway, we climbed pretty far up Santiago Canyon out of Long Beach. I rode up alone most of the time. Just staying on Elaine's wheel. I cried part of the time. Wondered what I had done to deserve the treatment Gail gives me. It's hard to climb and cry at the same time. I've tried running and crying and it works out about the same! lol So I tried to take deep breaths and just climb. But my thoughts could not be controlled on this day. /= At the top, we stopped at a little private lake that was having a fishing contest. Cute! I met a guy named Kenny and we shared a sandwich as neither of us could stomach a whole one. We ended up riding most of the way back together, which was nice. We seem to have similar styles though he is faster than I. I also rode with a guy on a hybrid who is HIV+. He was talking about a dead lover and being +. I figured my worries were nothing compared to his. So I left my shit behind on that canyon for awhile. We got back into Long Beach and everyone stopped at a Starbucks. There were a few of us that didn't really want to stop. So we hung for a few minutes and then took off together. I dragged a couple for about 10 miles in a horrible headwind. Then they started moving in front a little and pulled me for a little while. That was the longest straight flat I've experienced in a very long time. It was so windy. There were times I would just yell into the wind to get a little more energy. Counterproductive possibly... but it felt good. It was nice to see D'Azul sitting in the parking lot waiting for me! A nice long cry on the drive home and I am working on mental and physical recovery. This too shall pass!